The question of “How much is enough?”
seems to linger with me after every conversation or encounter I have with others. We
are all so blessed and have been brought up in a culture where every possible human need is thought of as a birthright instead
of the blessing it is. Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs falls
far short of what the average United States
citizen considers a “need”.
Perhaps it’s the approaching mid-century mark of my life, perhaps it’s the myriad
career and family challenges I have faced in the past ten years, but sometime during the last few months my mind and spirit
rebelled against the endless pursuit of “more”. More sales, more
inventory, more land, more clothes, more money, more gadgets, more, more, more! How
much is enough?
There comes a point where one is owned or enslaved by his possessions. This seems particularly evident by the levels of consumer debt, interest only mortgages,
and bankruptcies. I have been through the awful phase of life where a letter
in the mail was a “final notice” or the ringing phone was a collection agency.
I have lived the old adage robbing Peter to pay Paul, floating checks and payments to make the perceived ends meet
until the next paycheck.
Looking
back, I realize what an incredible injustice I inflicted upon my family and myself.
Joy, peace and laughter were replaced with tension, fear and resentment. My
husband and I failed to practice sound money management, failed to set goals, and failed to communicate. We failed to allow God into our home, and therefore failed to follow the basic principles of stewardship. In the bitter end, we failed our children, ourselves, and our marriage.
The house with the insurmountable
mortgage is now lived in by someone else. The two vehicles with their enormous
monthly payments are rusting away in some junk yard. The clothes, electronics,
toys and whatever else was charged to high interest credit cards are scattered to the winds of time. And, stashed away in a box of “important papers”, is a sheath of divorce documents and bankruptcy
filings.
I have been restored and blessed even
in the light of such miserable failings. My children survived the fallout of such dubious parenting, and I have a wonderful
second marriage. God is truly a God of second chances, but with the second chances
come responsibility. My first responsibility is to this marriage and to
providing a home environment that is a respite from the noise of the outside business world.
My second responsibility is to our children
and grandchild. My commitment to our blended family is to offer loving support
and guidance as these young people transition into adulthood. It is imperative
that the word “support” not be translated or interpreted in financial terms.
“Needs” and “need to keep up with the Jones’” are two entirely different concepts. While I will always give sacrificially to meet a true need, I will not stand by and
be manipulated by guilt into supporting irresponsible use of hard earned money for perceived needs that have become confused
as “birthrights”.
Two quotes from entirely different sources
struck a chord within me during the past few days. One of the quotes was “What
you are willing to tolerate, you cannot change.” The other quote was more
of a question and it was simply “What is your passion? What is your calling?”
I feel I have been called to offer hope, wisdom, and encouragement
to others that have fallen into the same cultural traps that have challenged me over the years. I do not have all of the answers, nor do I pretend to have solved all of my own problems. I only know that at this point in time, I am to pause, reflect, study, learn, and to be ever vigilant for
the signs that will lead me to the next step. Whether that next step leads to
financial prosperity or not, I do not know.
I do
know that in this simple little house with all of its quirky insufficiencies, or in our garden with its endless to-do list,
my husband and I have found the road that leads to “home”. It is
my wish that everyone find the courage to stop, re-evaluate, re-group, and re-direct their time, energy, and resources into
what is truly important in their lives, and that at the end of each day, they can feel “at home” with the choices
they have made.
Blessings,
Barb
